Ignatius was about 30 when he began to notice distinctly the stirrings of the love of Christ within him. Before this, he said he had led a life given to worldly desires and glory. You probably heard the story many times before. First, there was the cannonball in Pamplona. Then recuperating and not being able to do anything, he found himself reading the two books available in the Loyola family home - a book on the life of Christ and the other on the lives of the saints. Then began his experience of being lost in fantasy as he entertained two desires and thoughts about his fancied infanta and about going to Jerusalem. Noticing that the latter left him with a deeper and more lasting peace, he came to a decision to pursue it. About 3 years before he died (he died at the age of 64), he - with much prodding - narrated his vocation story to a young Jesuit, Luís Gonçalves da Câmara. When this young Jesuit asked him how the Spiritual Exercises came about, Ignatius specifically returned to this experience in Loyola when he said he began to be awakened in the (interior) things of God. It is interesting to note that he confided to the same Jesuit the following (Here da Câmara is talking about Ignatius):

...although he had committed many offenses against Our Lord after he began to serve him, he had never consented to mortal sin. Rather, he had always grown in devotion, that is, ease in finding God, and now more than ever in his whole life. Every time, every hour, that he wished to find God, he found him.

This helps us picture the difference between the 30-year-old Ignatius and the 60-year-old Ignatius. What changed? What was decisive was what happened to Ignatius in Manresa where he stayed for almost a year. Manresa was Ignatius’ desert experience. He said he could not find a person who could help him sort out what he was going through within him. At one point a doubt arose whether he could sustain the rigors of the new life he was determined to pursue. This, he overcame easily. The most challenging for him was when he felt he could not go past his past sins. This made him feel so trapped in it that he began to think of killing himself. Recognizing that this was from the devil, he was able to overcome it. Through this and other interior experiences, he felt God strengthening and guiding him. He said he experienced God teaching him like a schoolmaster a child. After a profound experience of God by the river Cardoner, he knelt before a cross. Later in his life as Superior General whenever he would be asked about certain things in regard to the Society’s way of proceeding, he would say: I have seen it in Manresa. It’s not in the sense of having a blueprint of some kind in Manresa, but as something arrived at following the rules of discernment found in his Spiritual Exercises. The Spiritual Exercises (at least the basic structure) is a codification of Ignatius’ experiences in Manresa.

After Manresa, he - convinced that God speaks to all in their hearts - started giving the Spiritual Exercises. He believed that he could present the revelation in Christ in a new way through his Spiritual Exercises. The amazing thing about this was that at this point he was not a priest and he hadn’t even taken any theology courses! Despite checking on him every step of the way, Church authorities could not find anything wrong with his Spiritual Exercises. Pope Paul III formally approved the book of the Spiritual Exercises in 1548. And even before the Society of Jesus became a religious order, the first companions of Ignatius called themselves Friends in the Lord. The bond that tied them together was the grace of the Spiritual Exercises. This shows that what God did to Ignatius in Manresa was really foundational. As heirs of this Ignatian tradition, it is fitting that we prepare for his feast day by making a retreat in the same spirit of love of Christ that Ignatius had. We pray that God, through Ignatius, will give us the courage to serve the Lord in this new school year.